Sunday, November 7, 2010

John Wall saves

I was planning on not even giving the NBA a chance this year. Actually, I have not really cared about the NBA since AI was unceremoniously jettisoned out of Philadelphia (the first time). I sure do miss my little, thuggish cross-over maven. I hope he is enjoying the kebabs and pide out in Istanbul. I wonder if he brought the entourage out there. What do they do all day? Can you make it rain in Turkey?

So many questions left unanswered. I have no idea what AI’s new uniform looks like but, in my mind, it looks like a cross between Joe Namath’s Ram jersey and Wade Bogg’s Devil Ray get-up.

The major problem in the NBA stems from its stars, or lack thereof. In America, you don’t actually have to be that good at what you do to be a star. You just have to do it colorfully. Sure, Lebron James is great but everyone hates him and that god awful Nike commercial isn’t helping. Kobe is getting old and that makes it more difficult to wish death upon him. The Durantula not only has the best nickname in sports but he is also the NBA’s best player. Unfortunately for David Stern (Rutgers in the house!), he is dominating in Oklahoma Friggin City. Yawn. The league has always had stars; what today’s NBA is missing is interesting and endearing support players. Consider some of the riches of yesteryear - Anthony Mason, Manute Bol (RIP), Rick Mahorn, Dennis Rodman, the Davis Brothers, Toni Kukoc, Vinnie “The Microwave” Johnson, John Starks, Spud Webb, Muggsy Bogues, Hersey Hawkins, and Johnny Dawkins. Now we have Joakim Noah. I hate that douche.

Lucky for all of us there is a beacon of light atop Lebron’s massive cranium. When all is lost, John Wall Saves. It took but a shimmy here and a shake there, but John Wall has restored my interest in NBA basketball. Sure, he almost pulled off a very rare triple-double in his third pro game (29 points, 13 assists, and 9 steals) and is already one of the best players in the league but that’s not why I’m interested. John Wall is my new favorite player because he brought the “Dougie” to the NBA. The kid has moxie (yes, I hate this word too but it applies). He has our attention as well – the Dougie has over 700,000 views on YouTube in two days. Tomorrow the clip will double the total viewership of Michael Jordan’s retirement speech.

Random note to NBA executives: Stop drafting traditional big men. It’s pointless. They break, they suck, or they age at an unnatural pace (Great Oden’s Raven!). This is a guard-oriented league. Durant is just a tall guard, isn’t he? Same with Lebron and Kobe. Give me a bunch of Stephen Curry’s, James Harden’s, and Brandon Jenning’s and mix in one tall, European that can knock down a 17-footer and we are good to go. The NBA is easy; GM’s just make it hard on themselves.

John Wall is the future. John Wall Saves.


  1. 1. Toni Kukoc, who the hell even remembers him other than the playoff game where Pippen pouted when the play was called for him.

    2. How can you hate Noah? First, the Bulls are awesome this year and fun to watch with Rose, Noah, Deng, et. al. And Noah just cares about winning.

  2. I'm a Knicks fan who completely tuned out of the NBA all together. I couldn't take another minute of Isiah Thomas setting fire to my team.
    Now with our changes I'm having to re-learn the whole league again. Then a funny thing happened. The Nets are coming to Brooklyn. Now I am all messed up. I won't stop being a Knicks fan, but everything changes now as my hometown gets a team. I'll be supporting them hard! The Knicks better get their act together before they find themselves shy one fan in two years.

  3. @ Alex - Kukoc dominated the early versions of NBA Live for Sega Genesis. That counts for something. The Croatian Sensation!

    @ Brooklyn - that's a tough call. I actually really like what the Knicks are doing. Felton was a GREAT, under the radar signing. They get 'Melo and they are instantly in the thick of it in the east. But.... the Brooklyn Nets with a Russian billionaire owner? So intriguing. If I was a betting man, I would say the Knicks will keep your fandom and be the #7 or #8 team in the east this year.

  4. Alex, I almost forgot.. your love for Noah is strictly homer-ism. Trust me. Your man crush is similar to the VaGiants fans love for Shockey years ago. It's your duty as a fan... but I don't believe you. Deep down, you hate that Sideshow Bob wannabe as much as I do. Love, ACP

  5. Who cares; it's pro basketball.